honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
