I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
