So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
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I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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