Apparently you make a good broom.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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