Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
