We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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