Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
