Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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