just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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