we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
