Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
