honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
