I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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