She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
