This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
