his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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