i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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