I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
