Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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