Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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