At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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