I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to sanitize my soul.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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