I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
