Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize