Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
