Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
