I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
