Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize