Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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