Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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