seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
