My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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