Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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