We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
