I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
