You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
