I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
