brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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