i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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