I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
