Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
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I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize