It was confusing and full of hummus
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
