She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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