Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
