Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
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We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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