Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No subtext here. People are naked.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
