I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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