would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh god it's open bar.
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