so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You know, be my cock's hype man.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
