Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
