i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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