I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
