he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
