honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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