Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
