piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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