hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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